Mother’s Day Talk
2014
Chris Todd Miller
Last Sunday I was asked to speak in church on Mother's day. I don't often wear my faith on my sleeve, but after a couple of days, I thought, why not share it on my blog--that's kind of what blogs are for. Here you go:
When Josh called to “ask” me to speak in church, I figured it was some sort of karma for missing the Stake Priesthood Leadership meeting. I was out of town at a conference. Then he said it was for Mother’s day and it got me thinking, last year we had the women speak, and that seems like the way to go to me. I don’t know what it feels like to be a mother, particularly an LDS mother. I don’t know what it means to mothers to take on that role. I gave it a lot of thought and this is what I came up with. It’s not perfect, but maybe it’s in the ball park.
When Josh called to “ask” me to speak in church, I figured it was some sort of karma for missing the Stake Priesthood Leadership meeting. I was out of town at a conference. Then he said it was for Mother’s day and it got me thinking, last year we had the women speak, and that seems like the way to go to me. I don’t know what it feels like to be a mother, particularly an LDS mother. I don’t know what it means to mothers to take on that role. I gave it a lot of thought and this is what I came up with. It’s not perfect, but maybe it’s in the ball park.
We don’t
have mothers speak on Mother’s day, because too often I think you forget how
the rest of us perceive you. And sometimes you might even begin to underestimate
and question yourselves and you need to be reminded how we see you. How we
cherish you.
The church group, Elevation Church, asked several moms to come in and do one
thing: Describe yourself as a mother.
I'm a perfectionist and so that's
hard with kids.
There's definitely days when I
have my doubts about my abilities.
I struggle with my temper.
I wish I knew how to calm myself
before speaking to them.
I wish I was better at just
taking time to sit down and listen more to my child.
I wish I was more confident in
being a mom.
Patience is far and away the
biggest struggle.
I want them to know just how much
I love them.
A couple of days later, the moms were asked to come back in,
sit down and see what their kids had to say about them, as a mother. In between
this time, they brought in the kids (2-6 grade) and asked them: What are your
favorite things about your mom? Tell us about your mom.
My mom is totally awesome.
She's fun to snuggle with.
Pretty and funny.
She does cook a lot of food for me.
She's just unique. That's why I
love her so much.
I have a lot of favorite things
about my mom.
We like to watch movies together
and color and stuff.
We go to church together and
volunteer together.
My favorite thing is to jump on a
trampoline with my mom.
She's like my heart, I guess you
could say, because she's that close to me.
My mom is my hero.
She will care about me and always
love me forever.
You can see the video here.
Take a moment to contrast those two lists.
Max
Brooks is an author who wrote a book that was well received. It’s called World
War Z. After the story ends, there’s one more page, the very last page of
the book. It has one sentence on it, right in the middle of the page—I love
you, mom. As kids grow up, our answers may get a little more articulate, but the
gist is the same.
We love you
for who you are. We love you for your sacrifices. We love you for mama bear
protective streak. We love you for wisdom, for your caring, for your
perspective.
David O McKay
“Motherhood is the greatest
potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is
the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind.
It is her caress that first awakens a
sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy
and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world.”
( Gospel Ideals, [1953],
452.)
That was in in 1953. In 2004,
James E. Faust said: “There is no
greater good in all the world than motherhood. The influence of a mother in the
lives of her children is beyond calculation” (“Fathers, Mothers, Marriage,”
Liahona and Ensign, Aug. 2004, 3).
My
children’s mother has given them a wonderful gift. As you know, we have two
daughters and no matter how much I tell them and teach them, and guide them
about making their way in the world, I don’t have the perspective that my wife
has. Through her life, through her example, she is teaching them that anything
is possible. That preconceived notions are just notions not absolutes. That
their lives can be anything they want them to be. This is true for us all, but
a word of warning, you’d better hurry, because we only get one life here on
Earth and that’s not a lot of time.
What if you have sons? What then? What better perspective on how boys should treat girls, men should treat women, than their own mothers.
Perhaps the
reason we respond so universally to our mothers’ love is because it typifies
the love of our Savior. As President Joseph F. Smith said, “The love of a true
mother comes nearer [to] being like the love of God than any other kind of
love” (“The Love of Mother,” Improvement Era, Jan. 1910, 278).
Kate and I
both grew up in the South Davis area. Our parents still live in those homes.
When we got married we both tried really hard not to live in South Davis. But
after 10 years, we ended up buying the home we’re in now, two and a
half blocks from my parents. And it’s been great. So many blessings have come
from having grandparents so near. I’m not making any promises for the future,
but for now it’s good.
Let me close
with Joseph Smith. Joseph and Emma were married for 17 years. Joseph traveled
extensively for the Church and was often obliged to find safety among friends
to avoid angry mobs or numerous legal harassments. While he was away, Joseph
and Emma wrote consistently to one another. We are fortunate to have some of those letters.
Joseph
frequently wrote of his love and affection for Emma and his children.
He wrote to Emma: “If
you want to know how much I want to see you, examine your feelings, how much
you want to see me. … I would gladly walk from here to you barefoot and
bareheaded … to see you and think it great pleasure, and never count it toil.”
1 comment:
This is beautiful and I'm weepy. Mothers day is hard for all those reasons. just all the flipping guilt of not being enough, or doing enough. But you're right, if I think about my mom, i know she wasn't perfect, and yet, she was what I needed and my life is great because of her. Thanks for this lovely talk. You're the best!
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